i said you were an idiot, but you took my hand anyway

2009-06-02T08:08:00.000-07:00

a video/song that made me happy today. i hope it'll do the same to you.

2009-05-15T14:21:00.000-07:00

last weekend i went to london with my friend to look for places to live. not flats (we'll take that later), just places. we hope to move there in august or september this year. being there i never ever wanted to go back home. it was so wonderful. everything. the people, the atmosphere, the architecture, the parks, the night life, the cafés, the shopping. everything. we met some really nice people there. i'm extremely shy and so is my friend so to say that makes me lauph a little. but we did. i can't wait to go there for good, find a job and feel happy. i think i will feel home there. safe and sound. like a fish in the sea.

2009-05-15T14:12:00.000-07:00

2009-03-26T14:45:00.000-07:00

2009-02-14T12:06:00.000-08:00

i know these pictures aren't perfect. they are not even clear, but i seem to like the sillyness of them. the sun had been away for very long, but suddenly it appeared as had it heard my wish. last weekend i went to copenhagen with my friend and we met up with our other friend who moved there in december last year. we had such a wonderful time. the weather was beautiful and we enjoyed every single moment of it. i can still sence sun on my back. we said goodbye and see you to our friend on sunday. i miss her already.

2009-02-11T07:36:00.000-08:00

what i dream about:

moving somewhere else, somewhere bigger, a capital with interesting people and places to go to. learning how to speak japanese. i've always wanted to be able to speak all the languages in the world, but i know this is not possible. having a nice little apartment filled with nice little things from all over the world, not to mentioned the nice little posters of all my favourite films. going back to long time favourite places such as edinburgh, london, paris and berlin, taking pictures of everything i see. seing the sunset in indonesia, drinking coffee in nyc, standing on the top of tokyo tower. i could continue for ages. i want to travel all around the world. meeting with my wonderful friends who i have never met in real life. becoming a photographer. finding someone special who likes me for who i am.

what do you dream about?

2009-01-26T14:22:00.000-08:00

when i was just a little boy i dreamt of becoming a movie maker. i had so many ideas and sometimes i even played the scenes i'd imagine in my head. when we were kids we all had dreams of what we wanted to be as an adult. often the girls would answer: "a supermodel or a singer. i want to be famous", and the boys would probably want to be famous too. but what's so fancy about fame? isn't the most importent thing that you are happy with what you are doing? some people choose their education from how many money they'll own. but i could never do that. i could never go to work everyday thinking, geez this is not my dream, but what the heck i'll get rich! i want to do something that makes me happy. something that makes me smile. and you know what? fuck money! happiness is more importent.

2009-01-14T12:40:00.000-08:00

i just came home from my local art cinema, having watched the swedish vampire movie 'låt den rätte komma in' (let the right one in) by talented director tomas alfredson. i was very touched by the beautiful story, the acting and the incredible work of filming. it's not the typical kind of vampire film. not at all. this is different. i'm not a guy to watch many horror films, but i knew that when i heard of this film, it was one to watch. besides it's not all horror. there are some quite scary parts, but this is one of those movies where you'll both scream, lauph and cry. it is very emotional. it is a story of the friendship (sooner to be love) between 12-year-old boy oskar, a bully victim, fighting to be acepted, and a young vampire girl, eli, whose only way to continue living is from geting blood. what they find in one another is something special. something they had both been missing. together they find hope.

if you are thinking of going to the cinema this month, i think you should difinetly consider this one as an option. you wouldn't regret it. i was deeply touched and i think you will be so too.

i guess that now there is nothing left to say but not to remember to "let the right one in". people might not be what you expect, but if you give them a change they might be just what you need to be happy.

2009-01-11T12:00:00.000-08:00

2009-01-09T09:48:00.000-08:00

so wedensday i turned 19. i can never remember my new age at first, but it comes as time goes by. i feel so old. next year i'll turn 20 and adulthood awaits. i'd like to stay young forever. well.. forever is a long time, but at least a little more. we grow up so fast that we barely get to look around.

if i look back at the time i've lived, so many weird things has happened. one of the things that often comes to my mind is all the friends i once had, but that i have no idea where are or what are doing now. we loose friends, but gain new ones. it's quite sad to think about actually. all the friends from when i was like five. where are they now? i can't even remember their names. only the things we did together.

i think memories are importent. some things are difficult to forget. some things you want to forget while others you don't. i guess that sometimes you even forget things, without knowing. i think that one of the reasons i like photography is because they can capture a moment and everytime you look at that photo you'll remember that time. they help us not forgetting.

for now i think i will take a walk outside looking up at the sky where all the stars live. they smile and i smile and i don't care if it is cold as hell. i'll keep this memory forever.

2009-01-06T04:08:00.000-08:00

burberry autumn/winter 08/09

featuring sam riley and rosie huntington-whiteley

2009-01-05T03:55:00.000-08:00

ceremony
by joy division
written by ian curtis

„this is why events unnerve me,
they find it all, a different story,
notice whom for wheels are turning,
turn again and turn towards this time,
all she asks the strength to hold me,
then again the same old story,
word will travel, oh so quickly,
travel first and lean towards this time.

oh, Ill break them down, no mercy shown,
heaven knows, its got to be this time,
watching her, these things she said,
the times she cried,
too frail to wake this time.

oh, Ill break them down, no mercy shown,
heaven knows, its got to be this time,
avenues all lined with trees,
picture me and then you start watching,
watching forever, forever,
watching love grow, forever,
letting me know, forever."

2009-01-03T11:53:00.001-08:00

i want to spend 2 days in paris and fall in love all over again ♥
i miss this town.

2009-01-02T13:18:00.000-08:00

i wonder what is going to happen in the new year. it's so hard to predict what the future is going to bring. but what i know for sure is that o9 is the year that i will finally graduate. hurray!! i can't wait.

i have been thinking a lot about what i want to be. or become. i have so many ideas, but lately i have especially had my eyes on the 'lassale - college of the arts' in singapore. i first found this place trough a friend who study there. it looks like a great place, and it's nice to know someone who is not that far away, so that i wouldn't feel all alone. i'm so scared of traveling all by myself, and i'm such a shy person, so for me it would be kind of hard to just go up to someone and say: hey, wanna be friends? well ... anyways. i think the architecture of the college is really beutiful. it's very modern and artsy. i'd love to study at a place like that. i think that in a creative building you would also be able to have a creative mind. there are so many interesting things to study there, such as fashion, fine arts, film, music and so on. what i'd like to study there is art photography. reading about it, really made me want to go there. i also hope that maybe i would see my indonesian friend aishanatasha there. we have both been thinking of trying to get in at lassale. oh gosh, it could be so much fun. yay!

right now i'm working on my portfolio and has started to save up some money (unfortunately, i need a lot) and hope that i can maybe get a scholarship. it could be great, since i'm really broke. haha.. oh, i really hope i can get in. i probably won't, but it can't hurt to try.

you have to follow your dreams. that's what they say.

2009-01-02T07:26:00.000-08:00

gosh how i'd really want these things. they're all from acne. yay. oh, and a happy new year folks! o9 already, huh? i can't believe it. time runs so fast these days.

2008-12-31T05:47:00.000-08:00

2008-12-30T14:54:00.000-08:00

while being on christmas vacation (altough i have to practice for my exam. it sucks) i've got to watch a lot of films. great ones. i've seen 'little miss sunshine' (again), 'el orfanato' (on the dvd they said you'd only have to be eleven to watch this, but my was i scared), 'eagle vs. shark', '2 days in paris', and 'c.r.a.z.y'. all of these films touched me deeply. go watch them. now.

2008-12-30T07:52:00.000-08:00

so very soon it's new years eve
what to wear
what to say
what to do
it's a problem every year
and to be honest i don't really like new years eve
especially not the days after
the air is filled with what's left of the fire works
it's killing nature
and i don't want to breath in
i don't even want to go outside
i'd rather sit in my bed
eating ice cream and cake
and watch a movie
and drink coffee

i think the problem with new year
is that it is way too over rated
it's supposed to be party of the year
but most of the time
it ends up with being fake
because you've tried so hard

i think this year will be different though
nothing big, just me and two friends
i've bought asti and frozen berries
and altough we're all cooking idiots (exept one)
we're trying to make something eatable
and we're going to dance the night away
in our souls and in our minds

and so the new year starts
what to wear
what to say
what to do

2008-12-30T07:15:00.000-08:00

today the city was crouded with people
i got confused and felt lost
everybody was running around
yelling, lauphing
most of them were happy
but i just couldn't manage it
i felt small
and i looked up in the sky
at a very big world
and noticed
that maybe it wasn't that bad afterall

2008-12-30T00:55:00.000-08:00

2008-12-29T14:08:00.000-08:00

for christmas i got the comme des garçons play perfume. i love it. now i'm the best smelling boy in town ♥

2008-12-29T13:52:00.000-08:00

sometimes i feel like i'm the only one around
i sit in my own world
worried about all the things that i can't change
i hear sounds in my head
birds who are singing
and i can hear people dancing
they're feet on the ground
as they jump around
hugging, kissing
but they don't make a sound
so why is it that i can hear them
and why do i worry so much
i need sleep
and champagne
and sunshine
and love